Spencer's Boyfriend Kinda Thing
by spencergaystings
Summary: A friend confides in Spencer that she has a crush on Toby Cavanaugh, of all people. Spencer doesn't care, obviously. She's just stating some facts about Toby that happen to be very embarrasing and bad, that's all. It's not because she cares. She doesn't. At all. Really. (AU. Random. Dedicated to poisonnwine.)


This is just some random one-shot based on a coversation that I had with Caitlin (poisonnwine) about what would she do in a Spoby fanfiction. Anyway, this was her idea and I just turned her idea into a sucky fanfiction :D

Hope you enjoy it, anyway!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. I only own Caitlin. She's mine. I bought her.**

"Spencer," a voice called her from behind where she stood in front of her locker as she tried to figure out how to fit all the 5 books she needed to study over the weekend in her bag without making serious damage to her back. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Spencer turned around, giving up on the task and deciding she would just ask for Toby or Caleb to take it to her car after school. Caitlin smiled at her and she smiled back, arching one eyebrow curiously. "Sure you can. What's up, Cat?"

Caitlin fiddled with her hands as she nervously glanced at the floor as if she was trying to decide if she should tell her something or not. Spencer furrowed her eyebrows. "Did something happen?" She asked in concern.

"Oh no! Nothing wrong happened." She sighed, "It's just… I don't know… I don't know how to tell you this." She laughed nervously and sighed again. Spencer smiled at her to assure her that she should just out with it because Spencer would not judge her. (Maybe a little bit.)

(But she would try _not_ to.)

"Okay, here it goes…" She took a deep breath. "I think I'm in love with Toby."

Spencer's eyes widened in horror and her mouth fell agape. "Wh-Wha-Why?"

Caitlin sighed sadly, "I knew you would react like this!" She exclaimed, "I don't know- I mean… God, I don't know what to _do_!"

"What happened?" Hanna asked looking at them curiously, having just arrived and hearing that last part.

"Caitlin is in love with Toby." Spencer said lowly, as if she was trying to figure out exactly what those words she had just muttered actually _meant_. As if it made no sense whatsoever.

You see, Toby is one of her best friends. He's the kind of guy that has a heart of gold and abs of steel. His baby blues make him even more attractive and he's just so freaking _sweet _all the time. Of course that Caitlin would fall in love with him. I mean, who wouldn't?

And Caitlin is such a nice girl. She has the perfect eyes and she's so freaking _beautiful _it makes her skin crawl. And she's so funny and sweet and – ugh. Why are all her friends so freaking perfect for each other? That's annoying.

First, Hanna and Caleb. The '_it' _couple of Rosewood High. They are the perfect match – Hanna with her 'not giving a fuck' attitude combined with his 'bad-boy' act make everyone turn their heads to look at them when they passed.

Then there's Emily and Maya. Sweet, kind Emily with the funny, carefree Maya. It was to expect that they would just fall for each other in the first week of being friends.

And then, apparently, there's Toby and Caitlin. I mean, yeah, Spencer loves them both. She wants them to be happy.

But not together. She wants them to be happy _separated_.

"Oh." Hanna says simply, breaking Spencer's line of thought. Caitlin looks at her, her blush all over her face and Spencer feels sorry for being such an idiot when it's obvious that her friend is actually invested on it.

Whatever _it_ is.

"Don't tell anyone, _please,_" Caitlin pleaded her puppy eyes wide. "I would die if he found out!"

Spencer couldn't help the snort. "Cat, trust me. You don't want to be in love with Toby."

Hanna looked at her curiously and Caitlin furrowed her brows, her attention all over Spencer now. "Why not?"

Spencer zipped her bag and shrugged one shoulder, grabbing the leather strap. She ran through everything she could possibly think of in regards of Toby's defects and blurted the first thing she could think of, "He makes noises while he eats!"

Hanna face palmed and Caitlin stared blankly at Spencer, "So?" she shrugged, "Doesn't everyone? That doesn't bother me."

Spencer shook her head and tried again. "He likes boy-bands."

Hanna snickered and Caitlin's mouth fell agape. "Wh- really?" Then she smiled, "Huh, didn't see that one coming. That's cute."

Okay…

"He chews gum like a camel."

"I don't care."

"He – uh, he's afraid of the dark. He sleeps with a night light."

"Aw, that's so adorable!"

"His favorite color is brown. I mean, whose favorite color is brown? He must be a secret sociopath."

"He's your best friend, Spencer. You shouldn't be saying these things about your best friend." Hanna interrupted their weird interaction. "Plus, if anyone's the secret sociopath here, it's you."

Spencer ignored her, her attention still focused on Caitlin. "One time, a friend of my sister's died, and I got so upset and I called him to tell him I loved him, you know what he did? He pretended he was dying from choking on a nut."

Caitlin giggled, "He's so funny!"

Spencer groaned. She was not about to give up on her mission. "He loves making dad jokes in public."

Hanna looked at Spencer like if she had just grown two heads. "What the hell are you doing?"

Spencer, again, ignored her. Caitlin was pondering for a minute. "Spencer, what are you trying to tell me?"

"That Toby wets his bed."

"_I do no such thing!_" An offended voice interrupted Caitlin just before she answered. Hanna laughed loudly and leaned against the locker, watching the scene in front of her with amused eyes.

"Yeah, you do." Spencer rolled her eyes, "Remember? Last month, we watched that movie on Lifetime about the girl that kills his stroke victim father and you called me in the middle of the night telling me you wet your bed because you dreamed that the girl from the movie was your daughter? And then you specifically asked me not to tell anyone about this?"

Toby gaped at her, his mouth opened and his eyes wide. "I- I can't believe you just did that to me."

"Well, Toby, you've just missed 5 minutes of Spencer just outing all of your secrets." Hanna said in an amused tone. Caitlin had suddenly just gotten really, _really _quiet. I guess she was trying to process the information that Spencer had just thrown at her.

Toby glared at Spencer. "Just… Why?"

Before Spencer answered, Hanna grabbed Caitlin's hand and smiled at the girl, "Hey, do you want to get some coffee before school starts?"

Caitlin sent Spencer and Toby one glance and then looked at Hanna again. It looked like Toby was about to kill Spencer right then and there, and she did not want to be around to see that happen. She nodded at Hanna and the blonde smiled, linking their arms as they turned around from the murder scene.

"You know what, Cat?" Hanna said after a moment, "Can I be completely honest with you?"

Caitlin looked at the blonde in confusion for a moment and then nodded, "Sure."

"I don't really think you should do anything about this crush you have on Toby." The blonde said. "I mean… Toby is a nice guy. I know he's good looking and he's just so sweet it makes you want to jump him, but… he's mostly into tall brunettes who can't address their feelings." Hanna gave her a pointed look.

Caitlin furrowed her eyebrows. "Do you mean…" Then she mentioned with her head towards the couple they had just left behind.

Hanna nodded.

"_Oh._"

"I know." Then Hanna sighed, "I guess… I guess all of that crap Spencer just threw at you was her way of friendly telling you to back off." She shrugged.

Caitlin chuckled, "Well, it worked." Then she laughed, "I mean… _He wet his bed_?!"

Hanna joined her and soon they were both at The Brew.

"Plus…" Hanna added, taking note of the tan guy with blue eyes looking their way – well, looking at Caitlin's way. "Noel Kahn is checking you out."

Caitlin gasped and Hanna chuckled. Then she pushed Caitlin forward towards the table the boy was sitting at, "Go."

"I hope he doesn't wet his bed." Caitlin muttered as she made her way towards Noel, without even thinking about it. Hanna snickered and shook her head, going towards the counter to make her order.

Noel Kahn surely does not wet his bed.

That's just a Spencer's boyfriend kind of thing.

_I'm sorry this sucks so much but you're all used to my randomness. Haha_

_Reviews?_


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